New and Shiny
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Declarations
THE SKY IS FALLING!!! Wait, no it's just those damn sky gremlins throwing shit at me again. Go away you sky gremlins, and stop yelling at me!

I am planning on opening a man-whore business, if you would be interested in my....services, say so when you sign my guestbook.

Q&A
Q:Why are we here?
A:Go away, I'm just a janitor, why are asking me questions like that?

Q:What is this point to all of this?
A:Look, just tell me whether you want fries, or not

Q:What does this button do?
A:For the love of God don't touch that!

Q:are sure that's not a wig?
A:Just tell me what you did with my fucking car!

Q:Is there really a god?
A:Please leave me alone, I'll give you candy.

Q:Where do babies come form?
A:You see, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, the mommy goes to a special clinic...